We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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