This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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