do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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