My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
