how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
