I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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