Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
