is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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