Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
