It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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