he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
