hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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