That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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