Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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