ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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