Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
