there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
