loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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