Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
