remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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