I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
