I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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