hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
