I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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