Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
