he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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