i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
