So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
