He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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