omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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