guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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