It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
