I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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