Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
