well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
