Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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