My friends, they love my intelligence
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
