Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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