another moral hangover. fuck.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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