Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she told me i tasted like america
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
