The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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