apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Randomize
