pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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