he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
