yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
