When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
