She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
