Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
barbara walters just said penis...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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