The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
