And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize