I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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