I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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