Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
