I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
