I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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