She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
