So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
