508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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