Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
